It’s so difficult to write this as I am having trouble containing my excitement….Beyoncé (she is so famous, that her name is in this program’s dictionary) is having twins….wow! Seriously?……this is the important news of today? Look, I’m no expert, and I must not use this little platform of a blog to shove my personal opinions down each of your throats, but I really am gagging………
When I grew up, music/movie stars were certainly of interest to us all, but they weren’t plastered all over the news (unless they died). Who cares if they break a nail? Who cares if they get a haircut….ugh…Between the Kardashians, Beyoncé, Miley, and all the other ‘shockers’ out there, we are dumbing everyone down……it’s so sad. Sometimes I’m glad I’m old.
Here’s some news that should push Beyoncé off the headlines…..After moaning and whining about not being able to lose weight, I have finally lost several pounds. I’d like to say it was from diet and exercise, and in some ways that wouldn’t be a complete lie – well not if you classify running to the loo as exercise, and a dysfunctional digestive system as a diet. It’s been great – I’ve lived on pudding, applesauce and mashed potatoes, and apparently, it works. I won’t tell you any gory details, but the upside is that you can tell which way I’m facing now. If this continues, I might be able to wear something without elastic in the waistband.
Well it’s been quite the rollercoaster start to a year with all the political turmoil going on. I won’t elaborate upon all of my thoughts, fears and concerns, because apparently that’s what the award shows are for. I’m sure Kanye will let us know the critical stuff. Personally, I like to focus upon important issues, like chocolate, wrinkles and why Gump drives me nuts.
Speaking of Gump, while I’ve been on such a restricted diet, he’s been really sweet about commiserating with me as I bake/cook/make him delicious meals each and every bloody day. He’s even mentioned that he feels somewhat guilty, eating these wonderful meals while I pick at my applesauce, although he’s had trouble actually verbalizing these thoughts with a mouth full of food.
The other thing he’s been doing which might be grounds for divorce is this…..he’s discovered Twin Peaks on Netflix. Neither one of us watched the show when it originally aired back in 19whenever, but I can honestly say that it is actually worse than Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (one of the few English speaking shows that was broadcast on Dutch TV back in the 70’s)….Gump has insisted I watch Twin Peaks with him, and although it is a nice respite from Sci-Fi and Monsters Inc., , it’s doing my head in. I can’t decide if it is the hairstyles, or the blasted music that makes me bonkers. But Gump is enthralled with this show as I assume it is on a par with his intellect…oh my, the things we learn about our partners after we marry them.
Today is the second day of February and I’m still wondering what I did in January that made it go by so quickly? I didn’t accomplish anything really. I attempted to work on a novel, I walked past the mountain of leaves in the yard and reminded myself that I should rake them up sometime. I fed the horses in the field behind our house some carrots (I have bought their love) and I ran the car through the car wash once. Oh, and I think I even brushed my hair. I made several lists and then hid them from myself so that I would not feel guilty about not doing any of the items on there. And I went to the gym – once. It’s been so long since I’ve been there the people that work the front desk didn’t recognize me. I didn’t care, I just pretended it was because I look so thin now.
So the year stretches out before us like a big wide yawn……and who can say what will unfold? For me, I’ve made an oath to myself that I will travel to see as many people/family/friends as I possibly can! To this end, I have many trips already booked…..a couple of them involve much loved time with grandchildren, and another is a trip home to Blighty (that’s what we call England) in the late summer to see my family, and then several adventures traveling to Italy, France, Ireland & Greece! Gump (who has ventured abroad once) thinks it’s all a bit scary. He feels that the world is very unsettled just now, and that Americans might be targeted with all that’s going on politically….and that I shouldn’t go and instead stay here where I am safe….with him….in the kitchen….. But when the Gumpmeister makes these declarations, they lack passion. Personally, I think he secretly hopes that Trump will ban all immigration from the UK, and that once I leave on my trip, they won’t let me back into the USA. Good grief, of course they will! But I’m not going to burst Gump’s bubble, I’ll just let him fantasize about that, and then give him the credit card bill when I get back from traveling…..
Well that’s all I have to report folks, my head is as barren as my lawn at the moment. No witty repartee for me. It’s probably due to the bland diet I’m eating, or the TV shows I’m watching (cue boring music) and maybe the company I’m keeping!
Have a great weekend!
Slightly thinner Jude.