I am senile. I have been fighting it for some time now, but the awful realization keeps rearing its ugly head as each day I seem to commit another blunder. Apart from the usual mistakes I make, here are some of the things I constantly forget:
- People’s names I have known for years
- What I walked into any room to get
- Various events from the past
- My children’s names
- The specific year that anything in my life happened
- What my feet look like
- That I’m on a diet
All serious issues I can assure you. But lately, and just to make things worse, I have also become very accident prone. Just in the past few days I have done the following:
- Dropped my entire NEW billfold into the toilet at a gas station in Fort Leonard, en-route to St. Louis
- Opened the car door and watched in horror as an 4 pack of drinks I brought back from St. Louis leapt out of the car in a suicide jump and smashed into smithereens on the concrete
- Watched as the only fragile bag of shopping I bought from my trip to St. Louis wobbled off the kitchen countertop to smash on the floor
- While mowing (upon my return) I accidentally annihilated the main sprinkler to our aerobic system septic tank and also took out the concrete slab that is there to protect sprinkler….not good
- Started a fire in the oven, when I inadvertently left an oven pad in the oven to cook with the nachos and when it caught on fire thought it was the food
All this in five days, and it is making me nervous, and others too….everyone is (understandably) scared to get in a car with me and I can’t say that I blame them!
My niece and I are back on the calorie counting highway…we went on a couple of walks (in between snacks) while I was visiting her in Missouri….and we discussed at length how we had been ‘dieting’ and ‘exercising’ for the better part of eighteen months, calling each other each week for motivating chats and basically moral support. We also talked about the amazing outcome of said commitment….we have both gained all of our weight back, and in my case, added extra even to that. Oh well…..now we are back to the painstaking counting of every calorie that we eat so that we can see what we really are putting into our bodies. It is actually quite shocking….who knew? So, hopefully we will get somewhere this time and be able to squeeze into our shorts this summer…..I don’t think I can take another year of wearing mumuu’s and pretending I want to be a hippy but actually look like a hippo. The bad part is that I have faithfully been going to my gym classes and still have managed to gain.
Gump has tomato fever again…ugh…tis the season I suppose – although this year he has kindly given my about two feet of room in his garden to plant some flowers for cutting and putting in the house, as I buy them all the time and this way it will be cheaper. As his garden is the only spot in the back yard to get really good sun exposure, this is a major victory…..although once they grow, it will become a daunting task to go and cut any flowers as I will probably have to dodge the killer bird once it shows up….time will tell. It really does amaze me though, how a sixty year old man can go outside and spend hours fiddling with a garden. You know, like we always say about kids….’buy them toys and they will still have more fun with a cardboard box’….in Gump’s case, it’s buy more computers,iPads,movies,books,and he’d still rather go outside and play with tubing for his watering system. He’s also putting scary crap on the tomatoes….yes, I said scary crap – like weird fertilizer and eggshells. And yes, I said eggshells – Everytime I cook eggs, I have to wash out the shells, let them dry, so that Gump can put them into a blender, creating egg-dust to sprinkle on his bloody tomatoes – other than the fact it might make the tomatoes more of a breakfast item, the calcium or something in the eggs’ shell is good for the plants, perhaps it makes their teeth stronger…who knows? – Next it will be nail clippings….
Not much to report on Gump actually, as I seem to be the one screwing up for the most part lately. His radar has been surprisingly quiet, but the noise his joints are making has been loud. Gump is trying (and failing) to embrace this time of life, when his body parts are starting to weaken. Hips, back, you name it, his hurts. Of course I make all the right sympathetic sounds, I even give him the odd massage as I’m nice. But secretly I am doing a happy dance, because for many pre and post-menopausal years I have been whining to a very unsympathetic audience (Gumpmeister)….and often wondered why he seems to be some kind of Peter Pan? How was it that he could hike uphill….eat anything….have white teeth and no cavities…fall asleep without even trying…stay asleep without even trying….well those days are over……Gump is finally seeing what it is like for the rest of us mortals, an’ it ain’t purty!
By the way, I am still loving my freedom from Corporate America. It has been such a wonderful experience to actually get to see the sunshine and breath fresh air instead of being stuck in an air-conditioned sweat shop. The days fly, my list of chores grows larger, and I cannot believe how I got anything done when I had a full-time job. Sure I miss the paycheck, but it has made me a damn sight more aware of how I spend money. I have actually read books (a phenomenon), seen family members I was always too busy to see.
My days are so much calmer than before, an ‘active’ day around here is when I do laundry – and a crazy day here at Debtwood is when I run out into the yard, screaming like a banshee to chase off the squirrels demolishing the bird feeder. My blood pressure is lower than it has ever been (even living with Gump) – and I know I am a lot nicer than I used to be….okay, maybe that’s stretching it a little……:-)
Well that’s all the prattle I have for this week – still working on the corner shop, but have been too busy chasing squirrels –
Have a great rest of your week and thanks for visiting!!!!
Jude