Happy September everyone! You can almost feel the hint of autumn in the air – well you can if you are up every morning at 5:30 a.m. Really, you Americans just don’t get it. In Europe, you will find that most jobs start at 9 o’clock. You get a paid lunch hour, and then you go home at 5pm. It is a novel idea; it is called having a life. Oh, and it is pretty standard to get at least 4 weeks of vacation when you START a job. I digress…..so the other morning at 5:28 a.m. (or thereabouts), Gump and I were lying in bed talking, (another sign of being an old fart….remember the days when you were too busy doing other things to talk?) and we realized that next month will be our fourth anniversary. Wow, who would have thought we would make it to three? Gump sighed and said he had been thinking about what he might get me for a gift, (aww) and he was having trouble deciding. I was so thrilled! Because the previous anniversaries had been duds……now, finally, after three ‘practice’ runs of me coaching, bullying and eventually demanding a gift/date/flowers/anything…Gump was getting it… The real way you are supposed to treat a woman! With delight I asked him what he had in mind? “You know Kate Middleton?” he asked. I replied that of course I did. “Well I thought I might get you one of those little hats she wears, you know, one you can put on this side of your head or the other side of your head…” My hand found the side of his head……and his yelp of pain was most gratifying. I hope you all had a nice Labor Day, and have put away your white shoes. What the heck is the white shoe rule about anyway? I think it is a load of old rubbish, “no white shoes”…..my guess is the person that came up with that lame idea didn’t own any white shoes and had issues, so she wanted to spoil it for everyone else! To be honest (and please don’t take offense), I haven’t owned any white shoes since I was about 12 and wore plimpsoles (they look like Keds, and kids wear them for sports in the UK). But if I DID have them, I would wear them just to annoy the fashionistas! Well the ticker tape weight-loss thingy at the top of the blog has still not moved. Although my tired old body has faithfully gone to the gym four times each week for the past two weeks, I appear to have actually gained weight… How depressing! However, you will not see that reflected on the blog, because I have intentionally omitted logging on to Myfitnesspal and fessing up – why would I want to post my failure? So one thing I want to do at some point with this blog is find an easy way to hear back from you guys. This blog is specifically aimed at women in their middle years who are suffering with all the same complaints I am, as we move into the second big part of our lives. All of you email me with such great comments, and I wish we could get that flowing a little easier! Please don’t stop letting me know what you think though, maybe I can post what you write. I really appreciate the feedback, it makes me think someone besides Stinky Sam is reading this! Oh and by the way Sam does smell better! I wondered why, and after talking to the Gumpmeister I found out what had been going on……..
Gump had received a funny gift for his birthday, apparently someone knows him well and bought him a little bottle of spray you use to squirt in the toilet before you sit down to do your business. It was obviously a funny gift to get a laugh, which of course it did. So Gump has neglected to use it in the way it is intended to be used, but he has been spraying it on the dog….yeah, the same dog that I have been taking to the vets as he has severe skin allergies that make him scratch himself into a big smelly dog….poor old Sammy……. This weekend, my youngest child is going to Las Vegas for his bachelor party, along with his brother, step-brother and several friends…….if any of you have plans to be in Vegas this weekend, I am now publicly stating that I do not know anyone visiting Las Vegas who is drunk, wearing a Liverpool shirt, and speaking like Austin Powers. Jude with the fancy hat…..