I blinked, and it’s already October. At least I think it is. My-oh-my, it’s been a fast and furious few months. I’ve racked up miles on the car, been to Colorado, Minnesota, Arkansas and Aldi’s. There’s a new grandson in the world, and another new roll of fat right above my waistline.
I’ve had hot flashes that could become my new super power, and senior moments that are actually senior minutes. My cynicism has reached new heights, and my verbal filter shredded into crumbs.
My hair (what’s still attached) looks like it belongs to someone other than myself, and face resembles that of a tortoise, only I’m uglier.
………..Other than that, there’s not much else going on.
News flash……I wanted to get a blog out to everyone because I finally updated my website and want you all to see it. I do it myself, so there are bound to be mistakes and hiccups, so please forgive me if there are. But I think I did spell my name write…I mean right.
Also, if you wouldn’t mind, you can subscribe to my website on any of the pages in the little box that says….you guessed it….subscribe. If you do this I will not plague you with junk mail or sell your emails to anyone in Nigeria. But I will send you an email whenever something is going on with the blog, and forever love you like a cousin. I’d appreciate the support. The more subscribers I have, the more likely I can be famous enough to take all of you on a nice holiday to Clacton-On-Sea! I’m not to proud to beg or bribe…….
2019 is the year I slide from my 50’s and hit the solid brick wall of the dreaded six-oh.
Shit…. Seriously?
Sixty, is it the new forty…or in my case, the new seventy? It really depends on which day of the week I look in the mirror – or if Gump is around telling me I food crumbs stuck in my crinkles.
Speaking of the infamous Gump, he had a birthday this summer…..he is now sixty-four. Hard to believe, because the rotten swine looks about forty-five which is really irritating, especially when I am mistaken for his mother. Added to that, my youngest child turns forty in a few days, and my grandson will be a teenager in January.
Where did my middle-age has go? Now my ‘things to do before I kick the bucket‘ window has shrunk to such a small space, my chubby body can’t jump out of it unless I dismember myself first.
On another note, between trips/family occasions/abandoned diets/chocolate binges and skipping the gym I have kept quite busy writing. I completed my second novel back in May and got to pitch it to some publishing folks at a writer’s conference.
Drum-roll…….I was fortunate to be offered a contract by The Wild Rose Press, a New York publishing house, which is bloody awesome! Then I peeled myself off the ceiling and started book numero 3. The book will be published once the editing process is done (shout out to Ally) – and then I will shout it from the rooftops.
The writing gig has to be a job, a real job. I am therefore self-employed. I am the CEO, COO, and all other various hats one needs when running a new business. I have read countless articles/blogs, listened to podcasts and explored as many avenues as possible to launch this new career as I start my sixtieth year on this planet. Cool huh?
The Gumpmeister has tolerated my constant scribbling and frequent speeches about becoming the next J.K. Rowling, or Lee Child. I’ve caught him doing the odd eye-roll when I’m in full book chatter. Wait…it might not have been boredom at my subject matter because he was eating tacos, and Gump does love tacos. So it could have been the orgasmic delight of Mexican food that caused his wobbly eyes – that, or a potential evacuation of gas….
When I was offered the book contract, Gump was more excited than me. He brought me flowers, wanted to celebrate, and made me feel like I’d won a Pulitzer….. I didn’t know he had it in him. Though it was short-lived, it was really nice, and very appreciated.
Couple of days ago, the heat finally broke and some nice weather rolled into town. Aren’t you ready to stop sweating? Though for many of us females (of a certain age) it would take more than a temperature change to get rid of damn hot flashes. (In the UK, they call this hormonal phenomena a hot flush…..I can’t decide which I prefer – one sounds like a perv the other a toilet/poker hand.)
How’s everyone’s healthy life-style going? Mine sucks. Though I do try to walk a little faster when heading to the fridge for chocolate. And now I am looking so antiquated, it’s almost expected that I carry around a few extra pounds and look ‘grandmotherly’ – it’s only people like Helen Mirren who get to look fab and trendy.
It doesn’t help when the so-called experts keep changing their minds about what is good or bad for you. I guess you just have to abide by the golden rule – if you like it, you shouldn’t be eating it…..
I had many projects planned for this year, and I have started none of them whatsoever. For some reason I was far more able to multi task when I had a full-time job, a part-time job as a waitress, children at home, a house and yard to care for, various commitments with said children, shopping, cleaning and keeping up with all the household responsibilities.
Now I don’t have to leave the house or get dressed, and I find myself needing a lie down if I make one trip to the bloody store. What’s up with that? Oh yeah, I’m almost sixty. Good grief, my grandmother is supposed to be sixty….not me.
I am officially older than all my doctors. Even strangers treat me as though I am fragile – how do they know I’m going to be sixty? At least the Gumpster doesn’t cut me any slack. In fact that’s probably why I look so damn worn out. It’s all his fault for making me do too much.
I find as I age ungracefully, I am more nostalgic about the past. Do you all do that as well? I think about family members from years ago, special occasions which created lasting memories (besides my getting expelled from school, or when I threw up in the playground).
I yearn to hear voices of people who are long gone, and wish some of them could see all the changes which have occurred…especially all the new family members.
My dream of becoming a published writer has always been part of me. I wish my parents were still here so I could tell them I did it! But then I see something on the news or hear of people who never had parents, or wished they hadn’t, and I stop feeling sorry for myself and find the joy in the memories I will always have.
But what about the bitchy part of aging? Now that’s pretty cool. It’s kind of sad that by the time you get your confidence all honed, when nothing intimidates you and confrontation is a doddle, you’ve missed the bus (so to speak) – Now I am tough enough to kick someone’s arse, I’m too old to lift my leg up that high!
Oh well – there we are……
I’ll be in touch very soon – and please subscribe so that you never have to miss another unimportant, rambling, non-life-changing blog post from yours truly!
Jude