I have been religiously working out every day (except Sundays) for the past 3 weeks. I have not been on a diet, but I haven’t consumed my normal amounts of chocolate and vodka. Results…….absolutely bloody none. Although my second chin seems a little perkier than normal. What gives? Ladies it seems I have become old. My body has taken that non-aerobic step into bloatdom. My mid-section has become it’s own person, a segmented second stomach as it were. It goes up and down like a balloon throughout the course of the day and I am scared to eat for fear of it bursting! Breathing has become fattening, Tum tum tum tums are my new drug of choice (I like the pink ones)….I obsess about this mound, I even spend time staring at other women to see if they have one too….
Wow, what a great thank you women get for dealing with 40+ years of periods and bloating…..10+ years of pregnancies, not to mention living on what everyone else doesn’t eat at dinner times. Yes ladies, after devoting your life to those around you, your big pay-off and thank-you, is to look like you have swallowed a football side-ways.
This is so unfair! It is cruel to watch as your midriff blocks the view to your feet and extend beyond your bra size. It sucks that clothes will and will not fit during the course of one afternoon. It is really awful when you see photographs, and wonder who is standing so close to you only to realize it is still you…..
Well I am pissed off about it. I didn’t want to be an apple-shape, I don’t even eat bloody apples! Oh, and it gets better! Apple shapes are more likely to drop dead of heart-attacks! Damn! How did we get so lucky! And this is just being in the 50’s & 60’s……what the hell happens after that?
Why can’t the big bits go in nicer places? Like boobs? Butt cheeks? In my case face cheeks? Life is like that….just plain mean sometimes…. Jude the fruit